Yes, it happened again!

This morning was rough, I hate you I love
I want you, I miss you, I dread you, I'd kiss you
I did what I do when I am without you
I now feel like crap, do I really want you?

My feelings out of wack, yes once again
What am I feeling, this time it's not pain
This time it's just me, feeling down after the party
Because No one is wrong, especially not me

I know where I want to go, at least for the most part
Where will this bring me, to another broken heart?
Will it bring me somewhere new or back to her again
She does not deserve me, but why do I feel this way?

It has been easier, but sometimes gets the better of my thoughts
I guess it's more like, this would have been what?
What does it matter, in the end, it's proven to be nothing
I look at her , and really. I'm feeling close to nothing

Is what I just said true, it was a couple weeks ago
Why did I stay, why did not let go, why is it hard now, I don't know.
It was fine at first but then I had to party
Slowly realizing, that really, this is not me
I did it and felt I had to, just to see, an attempt to get over you

I will and the days will get better, You will come back
You have before and will again
Because for some reason we have a hold
Maybe we are just friends, but I can't be
Seeing you with another, would kill me
same for you, I speak the truth see?

So this is a long one, cuz it's all been eating at me
I got a dog, it's mine, but you still left him with me
You can't commit, you run, you flee
That is who you are, a little girl, at least
You make decisions, change them with your panties
You like to be a princess, spend money and be
what you call alone, your own person, hehe!

You'll come back, yes I said this before
It may not be today or take the same time as before
But one thing is certain... I'll hear a knock at my door
What will I do this time, I don't know
Will you do less or even more?

I seem to get lost in the lies you speak
time after time, week after week
You come and make promises that you can never keep
You run away and claim that you need to sleep

You are like a hurricane, that comes through every two months
You tire me out, it's now three times, not just once
You make me plan then take away the ideas
You build hope and dreams, you said "I even want kids!"

You get scared cuz I make things happen
So why come back and say you want this
You think you do, but can't handle real life
You say you, You may never be a wife

Where is your doll on the shelf waiting for you?
Looks like it's been me lately
But it can't be like that, cuz I am not him
Maybe it's no one, maybe it's only you Kim

Secretly admiring

I am a restless soul
and you put me at peace
You are an artistic butterfly
I can put your heart at ease

I like to protect my women
You like the peace this brings
I like to hear what you have to say
You like talking to me about things

Our union can be a life time
Some say this is a given
Today is the right time
We are already smitten

I saw you after a month apart
They say the heart grows fonder
The excitement felt by both of us
Can make our bond grow stronger

Whatever this is I am feeling something
That little feeling of tingling
You're the artistic butterfly
Is there something I am missing?

You have ideas and dreams
I can help you see them through
I met you at this time it seems
A time where I think it's me and you

I was inspired to write this
Feeling at this moment a little bliss
I have read this for you
And now I am coming to get a kiss.

Past, Present and Future

Heal the past, live the present and dream the future
Obstacles, experiences and life is lived
Only you and your own life you can nurture
Only be there for someone if they also give

Wake up in the morning and think of today
Accept the past to move forward with objectives
Time to work and time to play
Of your surroundings you must be selective.

Life can bring love, heartache and friendship
Take what you will and let some slip
Life can bring pain, sorrow and learning
Grow each day or it could be boring

Live life to the fullest as you see fit
Make friends, enjoy family and take trips
You are your own priority and can also make others the same
If you accept less than this, you are the only one to blame.

Personal experience of being second to everyone
Even everything now you can see it's no fun
Forget them if they just take you as they wish
One day they are erased from you life's list

Giving, sharing, loving and also receiving
Are key to living a complete life
But learn to stand up for yourself now
Because otherwise you'll be left behind

Don't let someone take advantage of you
If you do, you'll see days that are blue
Don't take advantage of them
But sometimes some of us like to have our revenge.

All outta wack

You say I'm your man and always will be
So why the other guy? Man he's fucking ugly
My anger spewing on this page
Let you in my life then comes out the rage

Life ain't fun you say without me in it
So why so hard to make changes to it
Why so hard to make a positive decision
I'm too intense and talk with presicion

Impeccable words coming out my mouth
Talking to you now, I think your mind's gone south
Security blanket to you, that's not the truth
It's your available escape and you know it's true

Why raise questions if you can't answer them
You give me one, I can answer ten
Let go of then, this is now, that was then
That was your last chance it came and went

You didn't know it was your last one but now you do
Things don't always happen the way you want them to
Caught in pickle with a guy, Oh no there's two
Man what jam you got yourself into.

Few days to process, this is the start of day three
Games in my head of Will she call me?
Will I answer or will I let it go
That's an answer I don't even know.

You drink, you lie and spend money to no end
Just tell me if you just want me as a friend…
It's not an option but let the truth be told
All you're doing is trying to keep a hold.

You say it's your new life and you have feelings for the guy
I call him names and you don't come to his defence
You love me and want me with your 100%
Man you're screwed up, so simple and plain

I guess you got your fix now and you're good to go
As usual everything you do is done to the minimal
Why is it so hard now to go with no contact?
I was doing it so well, now I'm all outta wack

Letting Go!

I know you're jealous that I'm bangin 22 year olds
One thing don't change, you still a ho
Thoughts in your mind, you don't even know
You come back to me and make a spectacle
Impulse drove you, you don't know where to go.

I got feelings to, you had sex on the beach
In another country, I was outta reach
Come back to me cuz you know I teach
Next time I'm closing the door in your teeth
So hard on your face you'll end up in the street.

Coming to me like you got love for me
Coming to me acting so lovely
One thing ain't changed, you are my enemy
Now and forever you don't deserve me

You got issues and think I can accept
Thought I could but there is too much depth
My life is simple now and until death
I gave you that ring and took it back
Cuz you and I ain't until death

I woulda gave you the world, parted the red sea
Now realize I can only do that for me
You do for you and I'm just convenient me
You bring drama to my actual simplicity.

With another guy two weeks after me
Love of your life you keep lying to me
Thinking of me 3 outta 4 months with him
Skinny ass mofo giving you his slim jim
Coming back to me cuz I'm better than him
Spreading your legs begging me to come in
I make you wet while you need KY with him

Tangled web

I have the respect of everyone
Without me you have none
You're now deciding who is the one
Rebound ugly or Real time me
You continue to live in some world of fantasy

Knocking on doors with no purpose
Open doors for self satisfaction
Once it opens, immidiate inaction
She's now happy for a second, a fraction

Oh what a tangled web we weave
Every word spoke, more is woven
Lies and deceit seem to keep her on her feet
One day this will be her defeat

I need time, I need time, your time's run out
Chance number one million came and gone
Another guy lied and cheated on
Little miss princess is always playing on
Prey of the other sex, it’s never only one.

You're so pathetic, bitch for life
Taking time to choose another lie
Him or Him, it's all about a guy
Never can be alone, never even tried

Games

The week begins with games ending the weekend
And contact from an ex who thinks the door is still open
Was it not closed the other day, was the message unclear
Looking back, she may be alone now, her biggest fear

Games oh how I hate games, those who play them
What a shame
Life is so simple, yet games are so lame
Why play them with me, I didn't change my name
to the the guy who likes to play games
Go with the flow, games are insane

Either you like me or don't
So why play them, want me to front?
I can play them too
but don't like the stunts
played them before but once is enough...

So come to me with something real and true
I am up to getting to know the real you
games are played
when you don't know who you are
take some time and figure that out
then maybe you can call me, give me a shout

This is a message to who wants to hear it'
We've all lived it and some accept it
Take control and don't take it
leave it at the door or someone will always play it.